(the long title that wouldn’t fit in the sidebar layout) :) – identity in Christ begets contentment, begets thankfulness
One of areas I’ve really struggled with over the years has been who I am. I’ve gone from right to left, and back, gone onto various careers, pursued various avenues in the church, gone back to college twice, and still never found who I am, or specifically, I’ve never felt comfortable with who I am, and have never felt secure.
I could intellectualize why I’ve never felt secure, but now that I’ve tasted, it’s not really important; that was who I was, not who I am. My past doesn’t decide my future, and more specifically, it doesn’t dictate what choices I get to make today.
Since moving to Houston its become apparent to me, this time in my life is for filling in the details of the house, where before Houston, the framing was still being built. Right now, the walls are being built.
Last night as I spent time with the Lord hashing out my feelings towards what I’ve been spending my time doing. Specifically, he helped me find clarity in what I really feel about a particular area in my life I’ve been having trouble with. He also laid out a clear picture of mercy in sticking true to what I feel regarding the issue, that its okay with him the choice I make regarding it.
I feel grace today in my decision.
A byproduct of my new found mercy in identity, coming from Christ, is a very firm feeling of contentment today. I’m glad to do what I do, and I can clearly see the Lord’s hand, making the path straight before my feet. I clearly see his hand guiding me to achieve the dreams I have inside. I’m content in trusting him. I know he’ll always be true, and never fail me.
Out of contentment, I’ve found myself today thanking Him for what I have, and where I’m going. I’ve found myself really being thankful for bringing me here and providing a new life, a new identity for me. I’m thankful that he cares about fortifying my borders and strengthening my walls, and provides a path for me to develop within.
I don’t really know what more to say about all this, other than I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember, the mercy and grace to just be myself, and get away from religious ritual and striving. There is no fire and condemnation in Christ Jesus. We’re free to run, free to dance. Free to live.
addendum – I’ve been afraid of saying no to people, because I’ve never felt like I’ve had the power to say no. I’ve always thought I didn’t have choice, which is one thing I do have, and that will never be taken away, ever. I will always have choice, always, especially now since Jesus has liberated me and unlocked my cell door.
Choice is the one thing that will never be taken from us, that we will always have. We will always have it, because it was a gift, and the gift giver doesn’t take away what he’s given.
