Thus continues my thoughts as I read through the book, ‘Running Scared – fear, worry, and the God of rest’ by Edward T. Welch.
Chapter two was a bit more hands on, as it travelled a further inward in reference to fear, anxiety, and anger. There were a couple of exercises involving some inward thinking.
As I listed my fears, it became evident that I don’t like the anxieties that come from the fears I hold true. They came out of my pen, onto the paper, with ease. I won’t list them all, since there are alot, and a few really intimate ones that I don’t want to make public to the world at this point, but I will start at the beginning.
I’m afraid I won’t get an opportunity to move to Minneapolis
I’m afraid I won’t be able to support myself
I’m afraid I will be dependent on my parents and be judged
I’m afraid I will never have a job I enjoy
I’m afraid I will be stuck in Waterloo at Walgreen’s and will never move onto the next thing
I’m afraid I will never be happily married
I’m afraid of being hurt in relationships
I’m afraid I won’t be liked for who I am
Next, chapter 2 had me list particular fears, and how they revealed what I care about in life.
I’m afraid of getting cancer -> I care about my health
I’m afraid of not being able to have children -> I want to have children and be a father
I’m afraid of losing the opportunity of going to Minneapolis -> I want to live in Minneapolis
I’m afraid of being bad at working in an IT career -> I want to be good at what I do
The rest of the chapter talked about how anxiety, fear, anger and depression manifest themselves in our lives.
As I continued to read, the quoted section below stood out to me very clearly, revealing more about anger and anxiety. This section comes from page 34, at the bottom.
Scripture says this about anger: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? You want something but you don’t get it” (James 4:1-2) You want power, love, the TV remote, perfect children, but you don’t get them.
Fear and anxiety say this: “You want something, and you might now get it.” You want power, love, the TV remote, perfect children, but you might not get them. You want financial security, health for yourself and those you love, safe passage to work, and you know you can’t presume any of it.
Fear and anger can be the same words spoken with a different attitude.
Again, a great read, if any of you reading this blog are looking for some good insight to some fears in your life. This comes with a warning though; you can’t assume that reading this book will make your fears go away; you will need to be willing to dive into your fear, and accept that you are struggling with the issues that come up. The Holy Spirit also plays a VERY important role in revealing the truth about your situation, and brings you into healing; without Him, this book would be useless.
Blaine